Dad Eliminated from Home Top Chef

Yes, it's no secret, I enjoy cooking.  That's why when my lovely wife took a new job, I was happy to help out in the kitchen preparing food for the family.  I am your typical hack of a home chef, which, when combined with watching 5 seasons of Top Chef, fills my head with delusions of grandeur.  Those delusions were brought swiftly to reality, when, in my own home, I was asked to pack my knives and go home.

Chef Dad is woefully eliminated from the competition

So, let's cut to the chase.  As you may remember, Chef Dad was thrilled to teach the children the joy of eating Tilapia.  So Chef D makes that number again tonight, with mashed potatoes and broccoli.  Well, the time change had us a little behind (the oven lied and said it was still 5:30, instead of 6:30), so I was rushing to get the chow to the table.

I have been using the flaking method to see when fish is done cooking, but I had a fatal flaw... I was only checking at the edge of the fish, so as to not break the filets right in the middle.  So, mom's piece of fish, was, let's say, "seared."

Not only was mom's fish underdone, but she also found a few pinbones... and let's just leave it at this: she out-did the moment where Padma spat out a contestant's food in Season 5.

Maybe I can learn from this mistake and return as a wildcard later in the season.

Tired: Shout; Wired: Zout!

Ok Folks, let's be clear.  This post will only make sense to Mr. Moms, Soccer Moms, or those who obsess about spots on clothing that need to come out.

So, laundry is my preferred chore in our family, and it's one that I'm less likely to screw up.  It's pretty simple: wash, dry, fold, put away.  Well, that is, unless your child has spewed chocolate milk on a white shirt, or tagged their clothing with a not-so-washable marker.  Also, Mr. Dad has a tendency to get coffee splatters as he's stumbling, bumbling and fumbling towards that first cup in the morning.

For as long as I can remember, Shout has been what I've known to use to get stains out.  However, the method I learned required that: a) you instantly strip out of the piece of stained clothing, b) you get it wet, and c) spray shout on it, and hope for the best.  Then, after you dried the clothing, you either had success or failure, having baked in any uncleaned portion of the stain.

Enter my awesome OCD coworker who saw me splatter myself with coffee, and kindly offered up his Tide Stick.  Then, he proceeded to tell me about an illicit, dangerous substance, gauranteed to remove even the most vicious stains, even after drying....... ZOUT.

The stuff is sweet.  I chose some of the most destroyed and beloved white garments of my childrens', most of which contained copies amounts of marker and chocolate milk stains.  I followed the directions (spray, rub in, wait 5 minutes, then wash / dry), and was pretty pleased with the results.... no more stains!

Yes, I may be a loser for writing about this, but I'm one loser that's pretty pleased with himself.